Ever get this uneasy feeling some is lurking at you? Ever sense their ill wishes? Do not ignore them. Your life may really be in danger...

* Washing machine found with hoses cut; "You’re next" written in Woolite

* It tries to lure you inside by hiding one of your socks

* Immediately stops whispered conversations with washer when you walk in the room

* When you walk by, it hisses softly at you

* Caught passing notes to the water heater, trying to get it to explode

* Dryer sheets are laced with cyanide instead of fabric softener

* Large pile of (highly flammable) dryer lint next to water heater

* Only works when you open the door and put your hand in

* You wake up with a mouthful of lint every morning

* It keeps catching on fire

* Whispers subliminal suicide messages to you in the quiet of the night

* Some dryers eat socks, yours eats fingers

* Ad for contract killer in local paper

* You find its power cord tied across basement stairs as trip cord

* Creates new usenet group: alt.[your_name].die.die.die

* Gun hidden under the dryer sheets

* It chases you every time you use it

* Ate the Laundry Basket as a warning

* Caught in police sting operation, trying to hire a contract killer

* George W. Bush has drafted you and your dryer to die in Iraq

* You smell gas around it even when it isn’t running

* Heats up so much, the weather satellite says you town registers at 300 degrees

* Socks with holes...You figure it out?

* Hands you a glass of wine and says, "Bottoms up!"

* Hear it singing, "Jimmy Hoffa, Martin Luther King, and YOOOOUUU..."